Grieving Your Heart Pet: Love, Loss, and Legacy
Every pet we welcome into our hearts and home is loved and cherished. But sometimes, there is that one (or maybe two) who imprint themselves so deeply, they become part of your soul. Kindred spirits with tethered hearts.
Some people call this bond a heart pet or a soul pet. It’s truly an emotional, spiritual, and intellectual connection that transcends words. Finding your heart pet can feel like fate stepped in to bring you together. Grieving your heart pet can feel nothing short of agonizing.
I decided to write about this in part because the angelversary of losing my own heart dog is approaching. Many years now of living on this planet without a piece of my soul. And I have survived. I can even say life is good. But it will never be the same as the years we spent together.
The Heart Pet Connection
A connection so profound is like something magically meant to be. It’s often love at first sight with a language of love between you that requires no words.
This doesn’t mean that other loves and connections aren’t meaningful and wonderful. They are! I love all my pets with all of my heart. But one little furry being holds the distinction of heart pet, and that’s okay. It has never or will never diminish the love and care we give to others.
It’s kind of like your most perfect pair of jeans. You may have ten pairs you truly love – one with just the right stretch, one with the perfect length, another the ideal color. Each has its own ‘thing’ that makes them special. But there’s that one pair, the one that feels like they were made for you. The perfect feel and fit every single time. The pair you hope never wears out.
A heart pet is rare and extraordinary, irreplaceable, and always a part of you.
Grieving Your Heart Pet
I don’t think there are words that adequately describe the grief that follows losing your heart pet. All grief is heartwrenching, but when you lose the pet that is a literal extension of you, just as much as your limbs are, it reshapes you and your world. Not to be dramatic 😅 but it’s true. Your heart literally, physically hurts.
Heart pets don’t just live beside you, they live within you. Part of your identity and persona. This loss can feel like losing the safest, truest part of yourself and your support system. Their support has seen you through the hardest times in life while cherishing the best times too.
Grieving your heart pet can feel bottomless and disorienting. The heartbeat of your daily rhythm might seem flatlined, and suddenly even ordinary life feels foreign. You are so wired to their presence that your brain and body anticipate they’ll be there each time your eyes move, your ears hear a little noise, or your hand reaches out for them. Every day micro-losses are a reminder of the void they’ve left behind.
Living Without Your Heart Pet
After losing your physical connection, your world stops but the earth still spins. Clearly the universe expects you to go on with life, but it can feel like you have no idea how or desire to want to figure it out.
I regularly go back to an Instagram post I made on the six month anniversary of my heart dog’s death that said I wanted to make a commitment to trying to live again, instead of functioning as a shell of my former self. I revisit that post as a reminder that, eventually, I actually did just that. And I feel like I did it as much for him as I did for me.
That’s the thing with long lasting sadness and a loss so deep. There becomes a “pre-grief” you, and a “post-grief” you. And post-grief you is different, but different doesn’t mean less than. A life missing someone special is still worth living. It may take some time to believe that again, and even longer to feel it, but your heart will learn how to carry both love and loss together.
A heart pet doesn’t just shape the time you spend together, they shape you and your place in the world. They are behind every smile, every compassionate act, every glimmer of hope. Their love doesn’t end; it lives on through the person you are because of them.
