Life becomes full of unexpected surprises when you’re grieving your pet. It seems that inevitably, even when you’ve run a mental list of the tough things you’ll encounter, some sneak up on you, and will swipe the rug out from under you. 

One of those unexpected surprises is when the seasons start to change. When nature begins its passage of time and highlights that the world is still spinning, even though your world has slowed to a halt.

Many of us look forward to certain aspects about the change of seasons and the change in weather. Each shift in nature bringing new, yet familiar, opportunities and experiences. 

After pet loss, these transitions can feel bittersweet. So much of your life has been encompassed by your pet and their presence. They enhance most of life’s experiences. And these seasonal changes that are bound to come, amplify the longing and missing.

Summer to Fall

When you’ve had your yearly share of sweltering weather, bugs, and air conditioning, fall becomes a welcome transition. 

Sunspots in your home begin shifting as the days become shorter. A reminder of how your pet would always find these new locations of warmth. The crisp air has long been coupled with blanket season and endless cuddles. Walks could be taken earlier and last longer with the cooler temperatures.

Leaves start to fall and squirrels are out and about. Halloween is right around the corner and the costume tradition you’ve always had seems like a million years ago and just yesterday, all at once. 

Fall to Winter

This transition can be particularly hard for many reasons. With the daylight short, it can make the days drag on and feel like a never-ending heartbreak. Fall snuggles used to turn into warm layers, fuzzy socks, hot drinks, and fireplaces. 

The holidays are right around the corner. Along with the dread. 

Sometimes your pet was the one that absolutely loved the cold or the snow. Jumping into snow banks, laying outside for hours in the first snowfall. Getting snowballs in their fur. 

There’s just a lot to unpack in winter and it’s particularly complex when you’re missing someone so intensely.

Winter to Spring

By the end of winter, most of us are itching for warmth, sun, longer days, and feeling like we’ve come out of hibernation along with the rest of nature. Even when you enjoy winter, it feels refreshing to be able to open windows, feel a warm breeze, and see birds and butterflies again. 

Spring is notoriously a time for rebirth. When grieving your pet, that can feel like a paradox. Memories of emerging from your blanket pile with your pet, refreshing your home, and getting outside are colored by heartbreak. The enjoyment factor has changed drastically, as with other seasons too. 

Heading into spring (with summer lurking) can feel like a scary road ahead not knowing what this transition time and the next several months will look like without your loved one. Sometimes you’d rather just stay under the blankets.

Spring to Summer 

The long days of summer return. The warm, perfectly placed sunspots are back. The familiarity of warm air, water, and an awakened socialness feels completely different without your pet. 

You return home at the end of the day and there are still hours and hours of daylight. Yet your days are no longer filled with the magical being you love so much. Instead there’s deep longing.

Now, you’re faced with not knowing what to do with the daylight and often not having the motivation to do it. 

How do you cope?

In all of these seasonal transitions, the simple pleasures that you have enjoyed with your furbaby become reminders of a changed world. The pain is cutting but the gratitude underneath runs deep. 

Like many times in grief, you ask yourself, how will I get through this? How will I get through these changes in nature that I’ve come to rely on, when everything else I’ve relied on is no longer here.  

The answer is different for everyone. Honoring old traditions while inviting in new ones is helpful. Keep your loved one part of these traditions. After all, grief doesn’t end love and you are cultivating what love looks like now. 

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you experience joy. Whether it’s seeing the first robin of the spring, hitting the beach, getting ready for pumpkin season, or making a snowman. Joy is not the enemy of grief. They can and are supposed to coexist. 

Look for signs from your beloved pet. In the crisp air, the most colorful leaves, the fresh cut grass, or in natures visitors.

And don’t forget a healthy support system. Some of these seasons and transitions can feel isolating even when you’re not grieving. Surrounding yourself with a small circle of powerful support will help lift you up and carry you through.

The one thing that each change of season can guarantee? That the next one will be here before you know it. The world is, in fact, still spinning. 

In grief, we intentionally take things day by day, sometimes it’s actually hour by hour. And often, it’s season by season.