Saying goodbye to a cherished pet is heart-wrenching, and losing multiple pets in a short time can drastically change every facet of your life. The emotional toll of compounded grief is overwhelming and can even feel paralyzing.
Losing multiple pets in a short time will look different for those experiencing it. A “short time” might be days or weeks apart. It might also be months apart or within the same year. It might even be having said goodbye on the same day or within days.
If we think of the layers of grief as a stack of pancakes, it’s easy to visualize how grief is both universal and individual. Everyone’s plate has pancakes (grief) but the pancakes that make up the stack are different. Different sizes and shapes, thicknesses and colors.
When you have two or more stacks of pancakes at the same time, your plate is literally overflowing with grief.
The Weight of Cumulative Loss
Each connection with a pet carries its own unique, irreplaceable bond and memories. And each loss will carry its own sorrow and heartbreak. Losing multiple pets in a short time means that grief waves will feel like tsunamis and a despair that you may have never experienced before.
Multiple losses amplify the searing pain of grief. Your routine is upended and your furry support system is starkly changed. You grieve not only for their physical loss, but for the comfort, connection, and bond you’ve relied on.
Losing multiple pets can leave you feeling extremely powerless. A suddenly dark place of uncertainty, vulnerability, and isolation. The foundation of your world has cracked and you may feel like you’re at the bottom of a very deep hole. The emotions involved can be chaotic and hard to articulate.
The Ripple Effect of Multiple Losses
Experiencing grief for one beloved pet can be overwhelming. When that is compounded with multiple losses, it can be unbearable.
What were once your normal, routine responsibilities of life can seem like impossible tasks. Work, school, relationships, and even basic self-care may begin to require an effort that is beyond your capacity at the moment. You may even be apt to feel like these other parts of your life don’t matter anymore.
There is a disconnect from the world as you’ve known it. Intense grief emotions are amplified with guilt, anger, and deep longing. It might seem like these feelings are the only thing you can focus on. As personal of an experience that grief is, it permeates into many, if not all, areas of your life.
During this time, rely on survival mode and give yourself some grace. There is no manual for grief and certainly not one for grieving multiple members of your pet family. Reduce your days to smaller increments. Take life hour by hour. Then morning, afternoon, to evening. Until it feels like day-to-day is doable. Grief is not a sprint, it’s more like a marathon with a broken ankle.
Find Your Healthy Support
Notice that the caption doesn’t say “seek” support. A healthy support system is non-negotiable when finding your way through grief after losing multiple pets in a short time. The word seek implies that you are trying to find support, but if you can’t, then you may likely give up. “Find” means you will identify your support outlets, no matter what.
Find a therapist, group, coach, or online group. Try them all, see what fits. You do not, should not, and cannot do this alone. While no one will be able to take this grief journey for you, others can accompany you and provide a shoulder to hold you up when you need it.
Shared grief is lighter grief.
Honor Your Loved One’s Lives
Honoring and memorializing the life of those you love and are no longer physically here is a large part of the path to healing. A complicated part of multiple losses is the need to mourn them both separately and together.
Your love story with each of your pets has been unique and personal and your grief and mourning will be as well. You deserve time and space to grieve each relationship individually, though with multiple losses, everything feels so intertwined it can be hard to envision that.
Consider separate journals for each of your loves, or different candles to light in each of their memories. You may choose different photos of each to display as well as a collage that brings everyone together in the same frame. You might even consider some type of memorial service that honors them.
It’s possible to make space for honoring and remembering both individually and collectively. It will take time and patience, but that is the nature of grief.
Navigating the profound grief of losing multiple pets in a short time is incredibly challenging, with many layers of sorrow.
Remind yourself regularly that grief is a journey, not a destination. You will survive, even if you’re not sure what that path looks like right now. Give yourself credit for small wins, whether it’s getting through a day or finding a sliver of joy in something unexpected.
Though the pain of loss may never fully heal, it can coexist with the love you continue to carry in your heart. With patience, understanding, and support you can embrace both your enduring love and connection with your pet, as well as resilience that will continue to guide you.
