Grief is undeniably a journey. Some of the milestones on the journey that are felt deeply by pet parents can often be dismissed by others. While people usually understand commemorating a year (or years) pet loss anniversary, other meaningful dates along the way might seem like “any old day”.

But we know that it’s not any old day when you’re living through it. 

There’s the day of the week you said goodbye. The month anniversaries. The date of a diagnosis or treatment beginning or ending. Your pet’s birthday. Their adoption day. The day of your last walk.

There’s a lot of significant days. Days that are a reminder of what you’ve lost and also days that are a reminder of the love you’ve known. 

These personal anniversaries weigh heavy on your heart. Sometimes you might even feel more isolated in your grief not being able to share about these ‘in between days’.

There can be anxiety about how others might perceive your need to talk about these days or to acknowledge that it’s been three weeks, two months, or it’s the anniversary of the day you first met.

That’s when finding your grief people is crucial. Having a very small circle, even just one person, who gets it and is supportive, is important. 

But these tough days can mean more than just a pit in your stomach. They can be intentional times to actively remember and send love to your loved one. You can find small ways to honor and remember them. 

You may have to think outside the box to find things that feel particularly meaningful to you. And sometimes you might need a little inspiration. What’s something you’d like to do?

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Get creative and meaningful. This list is simply a starting point for suggestions that you can make your own.

• Buy a flower or bouquet of flowers in a color that reminds you of your pet. When it starts to wilt, you could even dry them and save the petals for other projects
• Create an online memorial for your pet and on these heavy anniversary days, leave them a message of love
• Curate a meal inspired by foods your pet loved. Maybe on the month’s anniversaries you have this special dinner and think or talk about good memories that bring you smiles
• Donate a small amount to a shelter or organization in their name. Use a donation amount that is meaningful; their age, birth date or how many years you were together, for instance 
• Buy smooth stones meant for painting (Etsy and Amazon are good sources) and on these recurring anniversaries, paint a new stone in their honor. Maybe it includes their likeness, a paw print, rainbow, a heart, or special message. You could keep them all in a special area of your home or even put them out on walks or in your garden
• Use dissolving paper to write a note or sentiment that is meant for no one but you and your loved one. Once written, release it into a stream, pond, beach or even an intentional place in your home or yard
• Donate a toy or a care package to a shelter pet
• Get a digital frame and choose a few photos on these special days to add to it
• Attend a support group for pet loss
• Light a candle. You could even consider buying a set of 12 battery/remote operated votives and add a new one to your candle spot for each month’s anniversary
• Print a new photo and get a frame with 12 spaces to fill up throughout the year. In the temporarily blank spaces, add special letters or notes until it’s time to add a photo to that spot
• Retreat to a place where you feel closest to your loved one and feel the stillness and connection. Take the time to talk to them, read poetry, read from your journal or just actively send them love
• Complete a Paint-By-Number custom painting from a picture of your pet
• Watch the sunset with a linking object so it can feel like you’re there together
• Make a Morse code bracelet, with their name or make several with different messages of love

Unique and special remembrance ideas can, and will, evolve and change over time as they become integrated into your life, routine, and traditions. 

It’s always important to acknowledge that nothing will feel as good and fulfilling as having your loved one here, but honoring them in special ways does truly warm your heart. And perhaps a warm heart is one that can begin to mend a bit.