Whether you’re talking about physical or emotional health, guidelines for success are helpful. That way, you don’t feel like you’re just winging it. Enter the Grief Nutrition Pyramid as a tool for grieving well.

If you start paying attention to what you consume, you might consult the Food Pyramid. A quick Google search says that the Food Pyramid shows “the optimal number of servings from each basic group to achieve a healthy balanced diet”. 

Makes sense. Healthy, nourishing things at the bottom and stuff you should limit or try to stay away from, at the top. 

What if we think about grief the same way? Grief nutrition. The optimal number of servings from each basic group to achieve a healthy, balanced grief journey.

It’s easy for your brain to do whatever it wants when you’re grieving. Having a visual reminder of healthy servings, can elicit a more mindful approach to grieving well. 

Easy? No. Doable? It is. However, just like the food pyramid, you have to think of it daily and catch yourself when you enter the top section too much or too often.

Loading up on “the bad stuff” can lead to an unhealthy lifestyle and generally feeling terrible. That can create a vicious cycle. When you don’t feel good (physically or emotionally), you don’t have the energy to prioritize good choices and keep reaching for the unhealthy options.

Compassion and Hope

The fruits, vegetables and leafy greens of grief. 

Give yourself multiple daily servicing from this nutrition group. Sometimes (like vegetables) it takes a while to get used to stuff like this. Self-compassion. Giving grace. Reminding yourself you’ve always done your best. Holding onto hope.

This is where things like memories and love also nourish you. Load yourself up here for sustenance and healthy survival. 

Physical and Mental Wellness

Eat well. Stay hydrated. Move your body. The very basics of living. Serve yourself intentionally from here.

Your body and your mind are going through an event they could not have been prepared for. 

This is how present-day you is looking out for future you. And you’re worthy of having your own back.

Stick to your regular routine. It can fill up your wellness meter and help you feel balanced. 

Tap into the creative part of your brain. This can be an exercise in slowly starting to train yourself to think of something other than the pain. Added bonus, it boosts cognitive function as well.

Wellness will translate to all parts of your life, not just grief. But it does help a lot when you’re experiencing a significant loss. 

Cultivating Love differently

Give yourself ample servings and opportunities to figure out what connection without someone physically here looks like. The love is still present, but cultivating it takes work.

It can be overwhelming. If it feels like you can only give yourself so much in a day from this section, that’s ok. Grief is a process not an event. 

Some of this might be easier to digest than others. Gratitude vs forgiveness for example. Both are important, but if one is easier at the moment, that’s ok. It can take a while to get used to the really healthy stuff. 

What’s important is giving it a shot or coming back to it.

Replay and insight

When someone dies, it’s natural to do some replay and to want to make sense of everything. Rumination can start to fester here because often death doesn’t make sense. 

Allow yourself limited portions. Replay, reflect, gain some clarity. But don’t serve yourself from here, all day everyday. 

As you near the top of the pyramid, these servings should be less frequent and balanced with the healthy stuff from the bottom. 

Criticism

The fat, sugar and salt of grief. The stuff you know is bad for you, but you can’t seem to help yourself. 

Everyone consumes from the top of the pyramid sometimes. It’s about really limiting it until you don’t go there as much. And recognizing if you’re spending too much time here. 

As the food pyramid specifies: Use Sparingly.

Grief is, in part, about balance and making space for all the emotions and aspects of losing someone so close. Intentionally feeding yourself from the bottom parts more frequently helps healing and evolving through grief. 

One of my favorite reminders in grief: When you live well, you grieve well.