Getting up in the morning is hard, and doing the ‘fake it til you make it’ thing can feel like a daily challenge. But when grief settles in after a long day, nighttime after pet loss can be the hardest to navigate. Even when you make it through one night, you know another is coming the next day.
With grief running in the background all day, the time you’d normally unwind and refresh can feel painfully empty—shrouded in silence and marked by the absence of routine and loneliness.
When coming home (or being done with work if you work from home) feels overwhelming and rest seems impossible, small moments of comfort at night can make a difference. The goal isn’t necessarily to find things that feel good, but rather, things that feel less bad.
Here are four mindful ways to ease the weight of nighttime and help you get through until morning.
Create a Comforting Nighttime Ritual in Honor of Your Pet
Cultivating a continued connection with your furbaby can bring warmth to your heart. A small, intentional ritual each night — something done for both of you — might help ease your transition into rest.
- Light a candle or turn on a remembrance lamp
- Have dinner with something of your pet’s nearby, like a photo or their blanket on your lap
- Tap into your creativity; start working on a painting or drawing from a photo, begin a scrapbook, or create some type of jewelry
- Find a small side table (maybe a free or inexpensive secondhand score) and refinish it as a special memorial space
- Journal about your pet or the memories you want to hold close
Keep a Touchstone Nearby
A touchstone (or linking object) can be something your pet once loved—a toy, blanket, or a bed. Or something that distinctly represents them, like
- A stuffed animal in their likeness
- Their collar or name tag
- A pillow made from their photo
- A piece of cremation jewelry or their urn
Special items like this can bring your heart a soothing sense of closeness and presence.
Engage in Gentle, Purposeful Distraction
Grief does need attention, but so do breaks. Giving yourself permission to step away from overwhelming emotions — without guilt — can actually help you process grief.
Try reminding yourself that distraction doesn’t mean forgetting, it means being human. We need to dose grief. Breaks from the intense pain are part of slowly learning how to live and grieve simultaneously.
- Read a book (not about grief)
- Watch a lighthearted show or fun YouTube videos
- Try a gentle activity, like coloring, watercolor, or a puzzle
- Dive into learning something new, like a language or craft, with an online tutorial.
Low-effort distractions can help you create nighttime routines that feel manageable.
Practice a Relaxation Technique Before Bed
It can be a challenge to unwind while you’re emotionally overloaded. Incorporating one or two simple relaxation practices before bed can help ease emotional and physical tension and help prep your body for sleep.
- Take a hot shower or bath—this can be a way to wash off the day emotionally. Scientifically, showers also help regulate body temperature for better sleep. You can even consider using a scented body wash or a new hair product for a small indulgence
- Try deep breathing techniques
- Listen to a calming meditation or soothing music
- Do gentle stretches or light yoga for 5 or 10 minutes
These small self-care practices can help shift your body and mind into a more restful state, potentially making nighttime a little more bearable.
It’s completely natural to dread nights after the loss of your beloved pet. In stillness, grief can feel heavier, and their absence more profound. By embracing even one or two of these small practices, you might start to find it a little easier to breathe, a little more comfort, and in time, a little more restful.
